Balancing family and career: the unsung heroes of caregiving

Becoming an unpaid caregiver can be a significant challenge for many Americans.

In the US, between one-fifth and two-fifths of adult citizens engage in caregiving roles for elderly parents, sick spouses, or other relatives.

With the number of people aged 65 and older expected to rise by 40 percent by 2050, this trend is likely to continue.

Samantha Brady, a PhD student at Brown University and research specialist at MIT’s AgeLab, says a lot of people are uncomfortable discussing their caregiving roles at work.

For many, becoming a caregiver can disrupt their career, forcing them to give up side jobs or reduce their working hours.

Zeroing in on a real case

The story of Amy Mariani is all too real. She had a mediation practice and was working on the side as a CrossFit instructor and nutrition coach.

She filled her hours with a productive side hustle as she was living away from her parents. When her father fell ill, she had to go home to attend to her parents.

A lot of people are uncomfortable discussing this at work, feeling it might impact how people are perceiving them in the workplace

Samantha Brady

It was then that she realized how severe her mother’s dementia has become. Her mother could not be left by herself, which is why her father had to ask her to come when he was hospitalized due to COVID.

She was forced to give up her work as a nutrition coach and CrossFit instructor to care for both parents.

The overwhelming weight

Caregivers frequently face overwhelming emotional burdens due to their responsibilities, which may cause tension within the family unit and cause anxiety about monetary stability.

It can reach a point where it becomes almost too much to handle. Mariani’s experience highlights the emotional toll that caregiving can take on individuals and families.

The lack of personal time, coupled with financial worries and the uncertainty of future progressions, can prove overwhelming after awhile.

Women and caregiving

For women in particular, the role of caregiving can have long-term consequences on their careers, especially when they reach their 50s.

A study conducted by Nicole Maestas indicates that becoming a caregiver may slow down one’s professional advancement.

When women hit their 50s, they’re actually still on the upward slope of their lifetime earnings trajectories. Men are on the down slope

Nicole Maestas

In our society, it has become commonplace that the woman will do the caregiving role when the need arises, even when she has more to lose from leaving her job than a male counterpart (e.g. husband, siblings).

On the other hand, women tend to be better at multitasking so they come up with solutions to try and make both work.

For example, Sarah Iselin, president and CEO of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts, herself worked remotely from Florida for a week so she could take care of her father, who has Alzheimer’s, while her mother recuperates from heart surgery.

Caregiving responsibilities often clash with professional pursuits, making it hard to balance both.

But specialists assert that individuals can overcome difficult periods and come out of them with increased resilience and improved performance in all areas of their lives.

Accepting the label

Alexandra Drane, cofounder and CEO of Archangels, points out that a significant number of people giving informal care resist being categorized as caregivers.

She, however, says that accepting the label is crucial in shifting one’s mindset, opening them up to seeking resources for support.

If you don’t know you’re in the role, you can’t get support for being in the role

Alexandra Drane

The Archangels website aggregates links to various services and information that can be helpful in finding support, making it easier to connect caregivers with the various resources available.

Availability of underutilized resources

Lisa Murray, a Massachusetts banker, has helped care for her grandmother, father, and husband, and now plans for her mother’s eventual needs.

She recommends starting conversations with parents or spouses about their future needs to identify available resources and options prior to a crisis.

In addition to direct support, the Massachusetts Family Caregiver Support Program helps caregivers locate essential services.

Drane also recommends examining different types of health insurance coverage and employee assistance programs to ensure all relevant services like care coordination, legal advice, and therapy sessions are included.

In Massachusetts, aging services agencies in each municipality offer assistance programs for caregivers, including group support and information.

Judy VerPlanck-Elliott, who cares full-time for her husband dealing with Alzheimer’s disease, has formed a regular connection with a dementia consultant from AgeSpan, the organization that supplies her community with crucial services and support.

VerPlanck-Elliott says her counselor helped her navigate situations that throw her. In those times, she values being able to talk to someone who won’t judge her.

Wear it proud

Disruptions to one’s work life caused by caregiving duties can often be perceived as a major obstacle to advancing in their professional careers.

However, caregiving also fosters the development of numerous transferable skills that can be utilized and valued in a wide range of professional settings.

Despite the significant challenges faced by working mothers who take on caregiving responsibilities, the issues surrounding caregiving for aging adults are often overlooked or underdiscussed in public discourse.

By sharing their personal accounts of caregiving, individuals can help raise awareness and foster a greater understanding of the challenges and rewards associated with this often-overlooked role.

According to Iselin, listening to the personal experiences of caregivers was instrumental in prompting Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts to introduce a new benefit aimed at supporting caregiving services within certain Medicare plans.

Caregivers will share with you that their experiences are not solely defined by challenges, but also by numerous joyful moments, including providing emotional support, fostering stronger relationships, and cultivating a greater appreciation for the people they care about.

Research has consistently shown that working caregivers tend to experience improved mental health and reduced stress levels compared to those who are not employed, underscoring the potential benefits of supporting caregivers in their careers.

The emotional, psychological weight and responsibility of this never ends. You never really take that [caregiving] hat off

Sarah Iselin

Holding onto a sense of purpose during caregiving can be essential for navigating future phases of life, allowing caregivers to maintain their emotional resilience and adaptability in the face of ongoing challenges.

Caregivers like Mariani encounter distinctive obstacles that necessitate high levels of emotional intelligence, resilience, and other advanced coping mechanisms to successfully manage their caregiving responsibilities.

Moving forward together

With an aging population projected to significantly increase the number of caregivers in the coming years, it is crucial that individuals and employers alike take proactive steps to support those who are shouldering this responsibility.

Employers would do well to consider implementing flexible work arrangements or providing benefits tailored to meet the unique needs of caregivers, thereby enabling them to manage their caregiving roles while continuing to advance in their professional lives.

Studies have repeatedly shown that caregivers who continue to work often experience improved mental well-being and stress levels that are better compared to their non-working counterparts.

As such, employers supporting their employees’ caregiving roles ultimately contribute to improved employee retention and overall well-being.

Employers can also reap benefits by hiring experienced caregivers who have cultivated a range of valuable skills through their caregiving experiences, including enhanced emotional intelligence, time management, and problem-solving abilities.

Through recognition of the significant contributions made by caregivers, they can start to break down the stigmas associated with this essential yet frequently underappreciated role.

In Massachusetts, agencies like AgeSpan and the state’s Family Caregiver Support Program offer a range of valuable resources specifically designed to support caregivers.

The Archangels’ Care Badge initiative is specifically designed to provide a platform for caregivers to have their skills and experiences in caregiving formally acknowledged and recognized.

Recognizing the value of caregiving as an opportunity for skill-building and personal growth can have a profoundly positive impact on individuals and organizations alike, all while improving the quality of life for the ones they care for.